31st May, 2014.
And I finally am beginning to do what I was wanting to do for a few weeks. Rather, I am in the process of doing it.. and I hope to progress eventually, with the clock ticking and the sun rising each day. What I am doing might be a cake walk for many, something which they can very easily go ahead with, a child’s play ; or it could also be a long-lost dream which they would have by now given up upon; or something they never aspired to do and put their hands on. But for me, it has been a longing, a deep-rooted wish, an intense craving, a strong desire, a tender yearning and a dream close to my heart. The love for it did not grow before any prior warning or indication, it developed with time, during a journey whose duration still stands incomplete. I don’t exactly remember when this happened but I know that what once was a penchant, and held affection, has now become an aim, a passion, a thirst, a vision..
We all know that Dreams play a very crucial role in any person’s life and that they are NOT always far-fetched or impossible to be brought true. We all covet for their accomplishment and strive to reach a step closer to them.
4th June, 2014.
And I am resuming from the point where I had previously made a halt. I wonder what on Earth prevented me from doing so all this while, when I confidently claim to love it...yes, I do, there is no denial.
Damn these consternations!
Anyway, coming back to where I stopped. DREAMS. And their FULFILLMENT. When you know only you CAN change your life and the responsibility of your present situation and circumstances, lies wholly, in your hands, and that you CAN make your dreams come true provided you work hard sincerely ; then you certainly have NO ability to justify your failure, your incapability.
And so, with the above belief glued to my mind, I proceed with what was left incomplete, what I want to do and what I see myself achieving in the near future.
The arrival of hardships during one’s journey is inevitable, and in the course of what I am wanting to do, blockages and pessimism and lack of a motivating force become my Hardships that I need to protect myself from before they grasp me completely. My blockages are my fears, those endless questions which bring me to “What IF? “ and “BUT IF...?” and scare me out of my wits. I fear the outcomes. The pessimistic approach enrages me and makes me curse my attempts and think bad about my own self. My pious efforts get strengthened in the presence of a motivating force, probably an encouragement or acknowledgement, and in the absence, they stand futile.
What I realise is that these hurdles are a mirror to my thoughts and how they shape themselves up, and one thing that is extremely crucial for me to successfully continue what I am currently doing is the ‘Way I Think’. And that is where I NEED to change. The second most important requirement during the journey of “ fulfilling my dream “ is TIME. I genuinely need to balance and make time for the things I love, for the people I am concerned for and who care about my position in life and about how ‘near’ I am to making the vision transform into reality.
The riddance of all those blockages from my mind will be a relief to me and a step towards contentment and peacefulness. And I shall continue doing what I was wanting to for a few weeks..doing what I love and what has always been a part of me..
I shall keep ‘Writing’ .. ☺
9th November 2016.
My first article was published today. Well, technically the second one (the review on the Bollywood movie Badlapur, was the first one in a way too). I still want to consider this the first one, perhaps the first one that was written after I graduated and at a time when I wasn’t a student anymore.
9/11 – The date that every year reminds us of the September 11, 2001 attacks (also referred to as 9/11) by the Islamic terrorist group in the United States and the present day 9/11/2016 when Donald Trump was elected as the 45th President of the US. Going by the majority of reactions, views and opinions, the date shall not only be remembered as an unfortunate one for the Americans but will also mark the doom of its political system under the reign of the much disliked Trump. Conclusions about Americans being sexist and partial have also been made.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi, very recently banned the usage of 500 and 1000 Rupees currency notes on the 8th of this month, just a day ago. His was a meticulously planned move that shook the functioning of several households within a few seconds but was also appreciated since, in the long run, it was a step against corruption.
With so many eventful things happening, with a hundred memes and jokes about Trump’s win flooding on social media and a hundred quotes appreciating Modi all over the country, I fear my eventful day being lost and undervalued. My article wasn’t based on these topics; the following ones shall probably cover them. It was themed on a dog’s tale and how he expresses his suffering and feelings as an attempt to sensitize people and make them aware of the wrong doings they practice on a dog.
I realize the feeling of utmost glee and excitement on reading my name below the title of the published article shall not be shared or experienced by anybody else but me. It was my work after all. My piece. Composed with my words. I tried to spread it as much as possible, wanting to make people read and give some valuable feedback on the same. I also wanted them to appreciate it. Perhaps nobody but a really empathetic writer would be able to understand the efforts behind choosing the correct set of words, of framing sentences in a comprehensible manner and of giving birth to a fresh piece of work. Some of my writer friends actually liked my article and I was glad they took out time to read it.
Honestly, I am not being selfish or full of self-admiration here! Like really not, but I do not want to forget the feeling of seeing my name under the title of the article for a very very long time either. Hehe. It actually was motivating and only someone striving to write meticulously can fit into my shoes. I hope to see more articles getting published and to experience the same level of excitement on reading my name above my work, again in future!
23rd November 2016.
My day today ended too soon. Mom can add the right amount of sarcasm to that sentence since she believes it started and the previously lived days have been commencing quite late; beyond the normal limitations that should be allowed. I woke up at 1:15 pm. I don’t disagree. I know, my regime lately hasn’t been very impressive or even slightly disciplined. Um, barring the 4-5 classes I attended in the past week that made me work on my lazy body and for which I had paid for in advance. The promotional trial week at this fitness center Evolution ended just yesterday and my cousin and I couldn’t even attend yesterday’s class! The other commitments seemed more precious than the 200 bucks perhaps (1000 for the entire week).
So I thought I’d join my last gym from today and will religiously work out now onwards. The thought apparently didn’t work out well enough in my head to be converted into actions. Old friends came over, my charger broke, nobody was at home, I met another friend and of course I felt lazy again! Not so surprising. I had to buy a new charger and for that I had to move my butt off my comfortable bed and make an effort to do so. I was ready in my gym clothes; not including my shoes, but didn’t feel motivated enough to drive through narrow lanes for those 5-7 minutes (after buying a charger) or fell short of incentives to go visit the gym.
I only learnt this Sunday (20th) during my final Creative Writing lecture that I am not supposed to be extremely critical with myself or remind myself of my weaknesses, especially constantly. The subconscious mind apparently doesn’t have a sense of humor and can’t take negative comments lightly. So, coming to what I achieved today! The call that I was expecting to receive tomorrow was answered by me today; of course the caller called a day in advance. I was overjoyed but also nervous. Surprised but also prepared. It obviously was an important call, from the place where I gave an interview only yesterday. Yes, the co-founder of So Delhi called me up to inform me about my offer.
I had been following their Instagram page for quite some time and had randomly come across this post my cousin had tagged me on. It mentioned that there was an opening for the position of an editor/writer and I certainly would have been interested to apply; keeping in mind that I was evidently unemployed from the past 15 days, had been looking for good work and the fact that I enjoyed Writing. I had instantly followed the routine steps of sending the CV along with a couple of sample writings and of waiting. I waited for the wait to end. To my surprise, I was very soon called for an interview; the concerned person had liked my writing style and I was on cloud nine! So, my interview that was scheduled for the 22nd went great; the office is in Shahpur Jat (a lot of metro traveling) and I was even more thrilled after faring well in the test that I gave for that position. Unfortunately, I had to give up on the option of a full-time job; my coaching for some entrances might begin from Jan’17 end. During today’s call, I was offered a paid internship at So Delhi which required me to go to the office 5 times a week. I was content and felt proud of myself. I had finally found myself something productive to keep myself occupied with and something appealing and meaningful to build my work experience with. I was overwhelmed with joy and excitement. I am now majorly apprehensive about the hectic traveling, especially via the Rajiv Chowk metro station and about adjusting in a new environment with new people.
I am hoping, praying and chanting to tread successfully on this fresh path that I have decided to travel through.
Breathing in some positivity.
Having written this, I feel complacent about my day.